The same circular pattern kept tripping me up for years. Same blind spot. Similar outcome. Rinse and repeat. The one where I tried to change it, yet it kept popping back up like a bad game of whack-a-mole.
Burn out.
Through the years, I had reluctantly decided to set boundaries and even made bold declarations about work not taking over my life anymore.
Yet deep down, I wore the compliment, “You’re such a hard worker,” as a badge of honor in many different roles through the years.
I liked living with no limits. No boundaries. Free to color outside the lines. It felt like freedom… until it flipped and felt like prison with the weight of endless responsibilities. Do even more, hustle even harder, dig your way out of the punishing to-do list.
I was a prisoner of my own making by believing rest and self-care are selfish. I viewed boundaries as something holding me back and something to be resented.
I talked to my coach about this circular pattern, and my desire to break it. (Side note for those of you wondering why a coach needs a coach – it’s because we all have blind spots, and if your coach doesn’t have a coach their blind spot is probably pride).
I had set a boundary about the number of hours I would work, yet I still felt scared I hadn’t overcome my circular cycle.
“Are you digging ditches or trenches?”
Definitely digging ditches… ditches of burn-out.
“What would digging trenches look like instead?”
Digging trenches, for me, looks like embracing new beliefs:
- Self-care fuels my future.
- My rate of rest paces my rate of growth.
- Boundaries open up new and creative ways to achieve my vision.
And a new way of operating:
- Setting a time limit on the amount of hours I’m investing in work.
- Blocking time on my calendar for self-care (AND dropping the guilt).
- Taking a Sabbath day of rest each week.
And it’s worked! Good-bye dirty ditch. I can feel the change sticking this time. FINALLY, my brain has been re-wired.
What circular cycle are you stuck in?
PS: If you’re interested in working with a leadership coach to break your circular cycle, let’s connect. Change is possible.
