Tag: grace

  • Santa Claus and Poopgate

    Christmas joy filled the air. Ornaments glistened, smiles radiated, and lights twinkled. Santa awaited … well would await (WAIT emphasized) in a matter of several hours. My daughter Sydney eagerly anticipated this year’s visit while our two year old Jenson hesitantly checked out the man in the red coat from a distance and shook his head no.

    We put in our name (and cell phone number). They would text us once our spot to see Santa opened up.

    With our name in the cue, we headed to PF Chang’s for our annual family dinner to celebrate my brother’s birthday. Visions of fried green beans and spicy Kung Pao Chicken danced in our heads.

    We got everyone settled, placed our order, and enjoyed a lovely “no-drama” meal. After eating, I excused myself to the restroom. Sydney and Jenson excitedly declared they wanted to come too like travelers going on some great adventure. Such is a mom’s life with kids four and under.

    I lifted Jenson from the high chair and walked with the kids towards the restroom.

    Being a party of three, we opted for the larger handicap stall. Inside the stall, I noticed the changing table pulled open. No biggie, easy fix. I pushed it up and watched as it folded to a flat surface back on the wall. I sat down to go to the bathroom. And that’s when I saw it…

    “Don’t move. Stay right where you are,” I adamantly declared in my stern mom voice.

    A huge piece of poop sat under the changing table. It must have dropped from the changing table when I pushed it up.

    Completely grossed out, I willed myself to keep it together and keep the kids away from it. What kind of disgusting person leaves a chunk of poop in the bathroom at PF Chang’s?

    I stood up from the toilet only to discover it wasn’t contained. A big piece somehow made its way on my sweater too. I carefully peeled off my sweater only to see another layer on my shirt. Could this get any grosser?

    I did my best to wash it off in the sink to no avail. I was up a creek with no clean shirt and Santa’s text coming at any moment.

    I needed help (as did the handicap stall we emerged from), so I headed to see the manager of the restaurant.

    “So… there’s a huge issue in the restroom. It needs to be cleaned. Some disgusting person left poop in the stall. It must have been on the changing table when I closed it. It’s on the floor and everywhere. It even got on my sweater and shirt. I can’t believe someone would do that!”.

    The gracious store manager apologized. She even gave me a card to dry-clean my clothes which she offered to reimburse at their expense.

    “I just can’t believe someone would leave poop like that,” I shook my head in absolute disgust.

    “You’d be surprised at the type of stuff we see,” she shared.

    “I have one other problem. We are about to get texted for our place in line to meet Santa. I can’t wear this,” I pointed to my brown stained shirt. “Do you happen to have a t-shirt or anything I could use and return?”

    The manager headed towards the kitchen. She emerged with a PF Chang’s server shirt. “Keep it,” she offered.

    I thanked her, took the kids back to the table, and headed back into a clean stall in the restroom to change. Once back at the table, I shared the whole crazy story as we settled up the bill. My phone pinged with the Santa text letting us know we had a few minutes to get there or lose our spot.

    As we prepared to leave, I lifted Jenson again from his highchair. He walked with my mom towards the door. Then, I looked down at the sleeve of my new PF Chang’s server shirt and saw it. More poop. You have got to be kidding me…am I being punk’d?

    My dad had a light bulb moment. He hurriedly sped after Jenson who was making his way out of the restaurant, grabbed the back of Jenson’s pants to peek inside his diaper, and let’s just say dad got a little more than he bargained for. As we walked down the steps of PF Chang’s racing to meet Santa, I realized … I am the disgusting person who leaves poop all over the bathroom stall.

    Life is full of surprises. Sometimes entirely different storylines are happening that we can’t see on the surface. Things aren’t always as they seem. We all could use a little less judgment and a lot more grace.

    After all, the gift of grace is what Christmas is all about. A free gift we can all receive.

    But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift.  – Ephesians 4:7

    May your Christmas be filled with grace and love.

    PS: Pray for me as I swallow my pride and head to PF Chang’s on Dec 23 and re-live the annual story of Poopgate 🙂

    PSS: Click here to never miss a post. Feel free to share this post with anyone in need of a good laugh or a little grace.

     

     

  • A Poem Of Thanks This Good Friday

    How did it feel
    To leave perfection
    To come from heaven
    To face rejection?

    How did it feel
    To know what was coming
    The trial, the judgment,
    The abuse and the shunning?

    How did it feel
    Asking your dear friends to pray
    And finding them napping
    Unable to stay awake?

    How did it feel
    To wait for the day
    When one you discipled
    Would be one who betrayed?

    How did it feel
    To hang on that cross
    Knowing at any moment
    You could have come off?

    How did it feel
    Looking into your mother’s eyes
    Seeing her pain
    As she watched you die?

    How did it feel
    To be raised from the dead
    Knowing death had been defeated
    Through the blood you shed?

    How did it feel
    To be reunited
    To be back in heaven
    With God Almighty?

    Jesus we thank you
    For a heart filled with grace
    A love so deep
    You willingly took our place

    – Kristin Aaron

  • Grace for the Holiday Griever (Part 3 of 3)

    Receiving Grace (Part 3 of “Grace for the Holiday Griever” blog series)

    No amount of presents under the tree or holiday glad tidings could fill the void. Everything seemed immaterial. It was our first Christmas without our son, and life felt empty and hallow.

    During this time, God revealed his deep love for the grieving heart.

    It showed up in special cards from people who hadn’t forgotten. In nurses who had cared for Jenson calling to let us know they miss him and love our family. In family members who honored our son with donations to organizations committed to finding a cure for the disease that took his life. In friends reaching out to say, “We love you and are praying for you this holiday season.”

    These seemingly small gestures made a world of difference because they represented something every griever needs to remember: You’re not alone on this journey.

    God sees you. He hears your cry for mercy. And He wants to comfort your hurting heart.

    Grace breathes light and life into darkness. Birthed out of unconditional love on Christmas day many years ago, this gift forever changed the course of life.

    “In this world there will be trouble but do not fear for I have overcome the world.”                        – Jesus

    As you grieve your loved one this holiday season, lean into the only one who can provide lasting light and life. A Savior who wants to wrap his arms around you and gently whisper, “I know your pain. I love you and your broken heart.”

    Receive this unconditional gift, and let it breathe life into your heart this holiday season.

    I am here for you

    I have been here since the beginning

    You matter

    I know you

     

    My love is beyond reason

    Impossible to contain

    Possible to receive

    I love you

     

    My love is unconditional

    Nothing can make me stop loving you

    I will never leave you

    I am love

     

    I know you

    I love you

    I am love

    I AM

  • Grace For The Holiday Griever (Part 2 of 3)

     

    Part 2: Honoring Your Loved One With Grace

    We got the Christmas boxes down from the attic and started unpacking. A surge of emotion hit as I pulled out our four stockings (Doug, Kristin, Sydney, and Jenson).

    It was our first Christmas without our son Jenson, and it flashed me back to our first dinner out after he passed away.

    “How many in your party?” the hostess innocently asked.

    I felt a huge lump in my throat as I quietly said, “Three.” I couldn’t stop thinking, “It’s supposed to be four. We are a family of four.”

    I sat staring at our four stockings trying to decide what to do next. I couldn’t spend the next month looking at three stockings on the mantel – the grief felt far too raw. I decided to hang all four (at least for this first year).

    But what should I do with Jenson’s stocking on Christmas morning? An empty stocking would give the emptiness of grief a stronger foothold.

    Grief paralysis started to set in.

    I took a deep breathe and decided this whole stocking dilemma needed a re-frame. A way to turn something negative into a bright spot. But how?

    By honoring his memory and allowing it to live on.

    We placed several monkeys in Jenson’s stocking that Christmas morning. Monkeys always held a special place in Jenson’s heart. Before he passed away, we started sending monkeys and smiles to other Histiocytosis families (Jenson’s idea which we could call Monkey Grins).

    Jenson’s stocking would be filled with monkeys that year and in the years to come. Monkeys with a purpose of brightening other people’s lives the way he brightened ours.

    Navigating the grief of losing your loved one during the holidays is challenging on a good day and downright all consuming on a bad one.

    “Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.”

    – Quote from an Irish headstone

    So how can you honor your departed loved one this holiday season?

    Allow their memory to live on.

    Find that personal thing that uniquely honors them. And then keep it alive. Allow it to warm other people’s hearts too.

    Maybe your loved one loved coffee, and you surprise the person behind you in the drive thru line by paying it forward. Or maybe it’s a donation to their favorite non-profit that cares for rescued animals since they always had an avid love for animals. Or perhaps it’s going as a family to volunteer at a retirement home because your loved one cared deeply about the elderly.

    Whatever that thing is, just do it (as Nike would say). Swoosh.

    You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how honoring their memory soothes your grieving heart too.

    PS: Don’t miss Part 3 of 3 in this series “Grace for the Holiday Griever” on receiving grace this holiday season. Subscribe here.

  • Grace For The Holiday Griever (Part 1 of 3)

    How do you navigate when grief rears its ugly head and threatens to steal your holiday cheer? If you’re feeling the sting of grief this holiday season, this three-part series “grace for the holiday griever” is for you.

    Part 1: Grace & Space

    When grief pounced its way into our lives five years ago, I had no idea how suffocating and all consuming it would be. Our world shattered when our three year old boy Jenson left this world far too early.

    Nothing prepares you for the avalanche of grief that follows losing a loved one.

    The first year proved to be a haze of survival with an acute rawness during the holiday season. It took everything we had to get up and keep walking through that first year. And I hoped eventually grief leaves you alone. But the pain of losing someone you love never fully goes away.

    The holidays are a mix of family, fun, and frantic exciting times. Add grief and its icy entrance to the equation, and you may wonder how you went from holiday happy to holiday horror in less than 10 seconds.

    Grief has a mind of its own. It shows up unannounced, banging at the door, demanding attention, and it won’t leave until it’s acknowledged. It has no respect for Thanksgiving dinner or other holiday plans.

    The holidays will trigger some sort of grief. Be gentle with yourself. Extend the same grace to yourself that you would to a fellow griever traveling down this long hard road.

    A piece of your holiday picture is forever altered. And it’s okay to miss your loved one and long for their laughter, warm hug, or big smile. It’s only natural to feel sadness at the loss of someone who shaped and molded your life in ways you can’t even describe.

    “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.” Psalm 34:18

    Grief, sadness, and tears often come wrapped up together. And to get through these emotions, you have to let them out. Let it flow.

    Let those emotions out in your own way – it may be crying in a giant bear hug from another family member OR maybe you need a good meltdown in the safety of the bathroom. However you choose, let it out. Think of tears as your body’s way of releasing and cleansing. Let it flow so you can go forward.

    When tempted to skip the “let it flow” step as the surge of emotions build, just sing a reminder to the melody of the song “Let it Snow” changing up the words to “let it flow, let it flow, let it flow”. You can do this in your head (or out-loud in the aisles of Target as you shop for Thanksgiving dinner or holiday gifts – I won’t judge).

    Also remember, grief takes space and time. Big sigh.

    I’ve learned this lesson the hard way through the years trying to squeeze in too much activity for a perfectly planned Christmas with velvety hot chocolate or apple cider with homemade whipped cream, parties with friends and family, and holiday shopping all crammed into too little space. The lack of margin sent everything spilling over (and oh how I wish it was just a little apple cider).

    For my fellow grieving friends whose schedule is already overflowing, head this warning: You will need extra margin and space this holiday season. Figure out what can be canceled or postponed. You’ll thank me later.

    You can find grace for the holiday griever starting with an extra dose of grace and space for yourself.

    Don’t miss Part 2 of 3 in this series “Grace for the Holiday Griever” on honoring your loved one with grace filled memories. Subscribe here.