Give and Take

February 15, 2016

We are good for each other and to each other. A friend of mine recently texted me this message. We both lost our sons, we both have dealt with health related issues affecting our families for years, and we both have a tendency in friendships to default to giving rather than receiving.

Giving comes naturally to me. Whether it’s encouraging a friend, mentoring someone in need, or supporting people through their darkest moments, it’s such a gift to be able to help others.

But sometimes life strips you to the core. It leaves you on empty with nothing left to pour out.

“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the sun.” – Ecclesiastes 3:1

When a season of brokenness hits, that’s when true friends pour into you expecting nothing in return. They are there to pray. To cry. To laugh. To listen. To be.

As my friend and I received each other’s support through these times, we experienced the natural ebb and flow of giving AND receiving that occurs in healthy relationships.

And we learned an important life lesson – it’s just as important to receive as it is to give.

When one person does all the giving, guess who you tend to attract as friends? Takers. With takers, any good deed always comes with strings. Takers don’t do relationships, because they’re only interested in what is best for them. There is one word for these types of friendships. Toxic.

But friendships built on a natural flow of give and take can become safe havens. A place where we can experience community. A place of trust and mutual respect. Friendships deepen as you walk together through whatever life brings.

“Close friends are truly life’s treasures. Sometimes they know us better than we know ourselves. With gentle honesty, they are there to guide and support us, to share our laughter and our tears. Their presence reminds us that we are never really alone.” ― Vincent van Gogh

I’m thankful for deep friendships where “we are good to each other and good for each other”.