December 21, 2018
Christmas joy filled the air. Ornaments glistened, smiles radiated, and lights twinkled. Santa awaited … well would await (WAIT emphasized) in a matter of several hours. My daughter Sydney eagerly anticipated this year’s visit while our two year old Jenson hesitantly checked out the man in the red coat from a distance and shook his head no. We put in our name (and cell phone […]
November 2, 2018
This car was never supposed to happen. I still remember the day my husband Doug broached the topic. “I really want to get a fast sports car.” Doug has always been a bit car obsessed, but a two-seater for a family needing at least three seats? We were definitely outside the practical zone. I had just come back from a meeting where a psychologist talked […]
July 12, 2018
Hello friends! Today I’m excited to introduce you to my amazing writer and speaker friend Jennifer Goebbel. She is a mama of three girls and one boy, married for 19+ years, and has a God-given gift to teach (I love listening to her speak and marvel as she brings the Bible to life in new ways) . She is guest posting today on the blog, […]
April 26, 2018
It started off as a typical Thursday afternoon after a week of business travel. Turn in rental car. Schlep barefoot through security checkpoint. Bra wire pat down by female TSA agent. Board returning flight. Stow bag. Insert purple earbuds. Listen to chill music while gazing out airplane window. Land at DFW airport and taxi 15 minutes to gate. Grab carry on bag. Head up exit […]
March 30, 2018
How did it feel To leave perfection To come from heaven To face rejection? How did it feel To know what was coming The trial, the judgment, The abuse and the shunning? How did it feel Asking your dear friends to pray And finding them napping Unable to stay awake? How did it feel To wait for the day When one you discipled Would be […]
December 23, 2017
Receiving Grace (Part 3 of “Grace for the Holiday Griever” blog series) No amount of presents under the tree or holiday glad tidings could fill the void. Everything seemed immaterial. It was our first Christmas without our son, and life felt empty and hallow. During this time, God revealed his deep love for the grieving heart. It showed up in special cards from people who […]
September 8, 2017
The woman directly in front of me in aerobics class collapsed to the ground. I stood motionless in my white Reebok high tops shocked and conflicted – wishing I could help but knowing I’d do more harm than good. Another woman in our class moved with command towards the woman on the floor. She began giving CPR. If only I’d paid more attention in the […]
July 1, 2017
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasures you seek.” — Joseph Campbell Fear can hold us back from some of the most exhilarating joy we’ll ever experience. Fear whispers lies at us: “You can’t do that.” “Who do you think you are?” “Don’t even bother. You’ll just fail.” Like a bully at the playground, fear pounces just as we get the […]
February 8, 2017
From the board outside my daughter’s school with her name flashing in recognition for the leadership award she’d won, my car was drawn like a magnet to the last place I saw my other child Jenson. His gravesite. I sat on the ground next to his tombstone, my way in this world of being as close to him as possible, feeling torn between the dichotomies love brings […]
May 8, 2016
“Mommy will be ok. I’ll figure out how to live joyfully like Jenson.” It’s a promise to my sweet boy that is always harder to keep on May 8 (the day he passed away). And on Mother’s Day. This year May 8 is Mother’s Day … a perfect collision of every dichotomy. A day to celebrate. A day to grieve. A day to be thankful for moms. A day […]
February 15, 2016
We are good for each other and to each other. A friend of mine recently texted me this message. We both lost our sons, we both have dealt with health related issues affecting our families for years, and we both have a tendency in friendships to default to giving rather than receiving. Giving comes naturally to me. Whether it’s encouraging a friend, mentoring someone in […]
January 14, 2016
This year I’m on a mission to embrace a new equation. – = + Less is more. It won’t be easy. It involves breaking years of engrained habits – habits that started out with positive intent. But too much of a good thing became like an anchor to my soul. “Sure, I can do it.” “No problem, happy to help.” “Ok. I’ll […]
October 3, 2015
I felt it immediately when I walked in the room. The day was finally here – a day I’ve been eagerly looking forward to and scared silly about for months. I would be sharing our story with the ladies of Life Fellowship (my home church). Our story is heartbreaking yet inspiring in how Jenson lived with such joy despite so much pain. Even in his darkest hour in […]
August 9, 2015
In the midst of our grief when Jenson passed away, something new started showing up constantly. Butterflies. I’d never really paid much attention to butterflies before the rainstorm of crushing grief saturated our life. But they started to become a theme even a mom knee deep in grief couldn’t ignore. One day as I was working through the grief with my counselor Mary, I shared with […]
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