The waiting is the hardest part. I’m better once I know …
It started Christmas Day with a seemingly innocent movement. Hanging the stocking on the mantel had never been an issue before, but this time it triggered a consequence that far outweighed the simple action. A total neck and back lock-up. Guess I’m just getting old.
Then other strange symptoms came from out of nowhere as my hands and arms started tingling and going numb. A MRI and ortho-surgeon would reveal several bulging discs (and bone spurs) in my neck.
Within a few weeks, things had rapidly escalated. The tingling spread like wildfire sparking electrical currents throughout my body. The tingling in my brain became so intense, it felt as if two live wires crossed. Shocking. My face, legs, and hands took turns going numbness. I started slurring my words. Hearing four doctors suspect MS will send your mind spinning.
Amidst all the uncertainty and the latest symptom where my brain struggled to tell my legs to move forward and walk, I laid in bed curled up in fetal position fearing the worst. My husband Doug snuggled up next to me and whispered in my ear, “I love you… I love you … I love you … I love you … I love you …I’ll take care of you.”
I broke down. In the midst of the worry, his love and promise stood as a beacon of hope.
“You’ll still love me even if I wind up crippled, can’t speak, and in a wheelchair?”
“Yes, because you’ll still be you.”
We’re walking together through medical uncertainty once again. Doug has been by my side as we figured out a B12 vitamin deficiency was causing MS like symptoms. He’ll be there as I have neck surgery this Friday. He’ll be there just like he has been from the beginning – for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until we are parted by death.
Thank you Doug. Love you.
