5 Ways to Comfort Grievers
May 8, 2023
Allen is home. We’re all hurting. When unspeakable tragedy hits, here are five ways to comfort grievers during tough times.
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10 Tips for Grieving Forward
February 21, 2022
Grief is challenging, but you don’t have to stay stuck. You can grieve forward. Here are 10 helpful tips from a mom who lost her three year old son.
What’s Your One Thing?
December 31, 2019
Recently I had the opportunity to write an article for a Patient Safety magazine sharing our son Jenson’s brave journey. He made the cover with the caption “How one boy changed patient safety”. If you’ve ever wondered if you can make a difference in this world, you can! Start with one thing you’re passionate about changing (more on that in the article https://patientsafetyj.com/article/73598-what-s-your-one-thing “What’s Your […]
Confessions of a Recovering Nickel-A-Holic
March 21, 2019
Sometimes you’re deep in a toxic relationship and can’t see the signs. I know because it happened to me. It started at age eleven. I counted down the days until my 11th birthday when I could get my ears pierced. The girls at the piercing store let me select earrings (hypo-allergenic stainless steel hearts). They drew dots on my ears with a marker, placed the […]
Unlocking A New Level of Strength
September 29, 2017
“Why do you have a weird rock in your drawer?” my eleven year old daughter Sydney asked. Oh, the mysterious rock. I’ve been holding onto that rock for several years now. This rock birthed itself at a writing and speaking conference called She Speaks. At the end of the last session, they asked us to still our spirit and listen for one word from God […]
Finding Your Unique Purpose
September 8, 2017
The woman directly in front of me in aerobics class collapsed to the ground. I stood motionless in my white Reebok high tops shocked and conflicted – wishing I could help but knowing I’d do more harm than good. Another woman in our class moved with command towards the woman on the floor. She began giving CPR. If only I’d paid more attention in the […]
Enough With the Fear Factor
July 1, 2017
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasures you seek.” — Joseph Campbell Fear can hold us back from some of the most exhilarating joy we’ll ever experience. Fear whispers lies at us: “You can’t do that.” “Who do you think you are?” “Don’t even bother. You’ll just fail.” Like a bully at the playground, fear pounces just as we get the […]
A Simple Act With Big Impact
May 8, 2017
Today is a hard day. It is the five year anniversary of the death of our sweet boy Jenson. Two words … Monkeys and Montenegro … are helping me remember what we leave behind can far outlive our time on this earth. Last week multiple requests for Monkey Grins* came in. *For those new to the blog, you may be wondering what is a Monkey […]
A Message of Love
February 8, 2017
From the board outside my daughter’s school with her name flashing in recognition for the leadership award she’d won, my car was drawn like a magnet to the last place I saw my other child Jenson. His gravesite. I sat on the ground next to his tombstone, my way in this world of being as close to him as possible, feeling torn between the dichotomies love brings […]
Wedding Blunders
December 13, 2016
Today is our 13th wedding anniversary. I still remember the excitement of first meeting Doug. I spotted him at church with a friend of mine. “Who’s that cute new guy?” I curiously asked my friend Patti. I remember the first time he told me he loved me. The excitement of seeing his phone number light up on my phone. The moment I finally understood what […]
Moments That Matter
November 9, 2016
It was red for over two hours. Screaming teens and tweens. The sound of loud music ripping throughout the arena as Taylor Swift performed song after song on her “Red” concert tour. We had decided on a whim that day to try and score tickets (or should I say Doug scored tickets and dropped my daughter Sydney and me off at the stadium while he […]
Reading Between the Lines
May 21, 2016
I remember the day the doctor told us more about the surgery. He would go in through the front of the neck cutting a two inch incision. The front. A two inch incision. Would it look like someone slit my neck? Would the scar become the new focal point of my appearance? Fears swirled around in my head. The doctor answered the questions before I had time to ask […]
Choosing Joy
May 8, 2016
“Mommy will be ok. I’ll figure out how to live joyfully like Jenson.” It’s a promise to my sweet boy that is always harder to keep on May 8 (the day he passed away). And on Mother’s Day. This year May 8 is Mother’s Day … a perfect collision of every dichotomy. A day to celebrate. A day to grieve. A day to be thankful for moms. A day […]
Role Reversal
May 1, 2016
The doctor told us I’d only be in the hospital one night assuming no complications. My nine year old daughter Sydney was adamant. She would be the one who stayed the night. “I’m your daughter, so I should get to stay even though I’m a kid.” I let her know the first night might be rough, and she’d probably be really bored. “That’s okay mommy. You’ll need […]
I’ll Take Care of You
April 24, 2016
The waiting is the hardest part. I’m better once I know … It started Christmas Day with a seemingly innocent movement. Hanging the stocking on the mantel had never been an issue before, but this time it triggered a consequence that far outweighed the simple action. A total neck and back lock-up. Guess I’m just getting old. Then other strange symptoms came from out of nowhere as my […]
Thankfulness
March 8, 2016
My head felt like a fifty pound weight balancing precariously on a toothpick. At any moment, it might snap. It hurt to ride in a car. It hurt to sit in a chair. It hurt to turn my head from side to side. My husband Doug affectionately referred to me as his “china doll”. Fragile. Handle with care. The MRI would reveal a bulging disc in the neck. Ouch. […]
Give and Take
February 15, 2016
We are good for each other and to each other. A friend of mine recently texted me this message. We both lost our sons, we both have dealt with health related issues affecting our families for years, and we both have a tendency in friendships to default to giving rather than receiving. Giving comes naturally to me. Whether it’s encouraging a friend, mentoring someone in […]
Less is More
January 14, 2016
This year I’m on a mission to embrace a new equation. – = + Less is more. It won’t be easy. It involves breaking years of engrained habits – habits that started out with positive intent. But too much of a good thing became like an anchor to my soul. “Sure, I can do it.” “No problem, happy to help.” “Ok. I’ll […]
Home For The Holidays
December 21, 2015
It’s time to bring the family together To mark this special time of the year You gather around the Christmas tree As you open gifts and remember The gifts range from scarves to pjs to watches And toys for the kids to play The presents all opened and paper around Could this be the highlight of the day? Then the stories start about […]
Two Are Better Than One
December 12, 2015
The Christmas tree was up and “fluffed”. Ornament hanging is my 9 year old daughter Sydney’s favorite part of decorating for Christmas. But before we could get to the fun part, something else needed to happen. My least favorite part of the whole process. Stringing the lights. I pulled multiple strands of lights out of the Christmas boxes. Every year I vow to take more care and time when […]
Magically Beautiful
November 20, 2015
“Has anyone ever said you look like Linda Carter with your glasses on?” Uh … no. But my co-worker had unknowingly paid me the biggest compliment. My mind flashed back to one of my favorite childhood memories. Linda Carter played my childhood hero … Wonder Woman. She is the ultimate woman. Binding up criminals with her golden rope. Protecting and saving innocent people with her […]
Through the Valley
October 14, 2015
Tossed off a cliff into the abyss. Shattered in a million pieces. The pit of despair tugging you down like quicksand. No light, only darkness. Surrounded by pitch-black darkness and stripped down to nothing, the journey begins blind and broken. Barely breathing. Grief growls like a grizzly bear in your ear. Fear howls like wind blowing through a wind tunnel – merciless and unrelenting. Your entire […]
Good… love… light…
October 3, 2015
I felt it immediately when I walked in the room. The day was finally here – a day I’ve been eagerly looking forward to and scared silly about for months. I would be sharing our story with the ladies of Life Fellowship (my home church). Our story is heartbreaking yet inspiring in how Jenson lived with such joy despite so much pain. Even in his darkest hour in […]
Golden Anniversary
September 20, 2015
It was a celebration … a golden celebration. A milestone most never reach. Fifty years of marriage. “What kind of party do you want?” I asked my mom. “I just want my family to be together,” she answered. And together we were. We hosted at our house. Sydney loves a party, so we went into serious party planning mode. Balloons, cake, decorations. A gourmet […]
Contagious
August 30, 2015
Laptop removed? Check. Shoes off? Check. Bag of liquids in bin? Check. It’s an airport security ritual. I got everything into the grey bins, hoisted my carry-on bag onto the belt at the security checkpoint and walked through the sensor without anything going off. Whew. “Ma’am, I need to inspect your bag”. Oh no. I could tell this bag inspector meant business as she rifled […]
Good Times
August 16, 2015
California. Perfect weather. Beautiful scenery. Delicious food. Once a year Sydney and I re-visit our favorite California spots and re-connect with old friends. It’s hanging with her friends Olivia and Hailey. Grabbing pizza at Pizza My Heart. Drinks at the “boat” Starbucks that overlooks the bay. Eating yummy chicken tikka masala at Khana Peña Indian restaurant. Pure bliss. But this year, Sydney made the trip even […]
Struggling to Fly
August 9, 2015
In the midst of our grief when Jenson passed away, something new started showing up constantly. Butterflies. I’d never really paid much attention to butterflies before the rainstorm of crushing grief saturated our life. But they started to become a theme even a mom knee deep in grief couldn’t ignore. One day as I was working through the grief with my counselor Mary, I shared with […]
Real Friends
July 31, 2015
Welcome friend! Thanks for checking out my new blog… I’m excited to connect with YOU. I want this site to be a place that inspires, connects, and creates transformation. And it starts with being real. There is nothing better than being with real friends. Not friends where you pretend like you’re both perfect and never share what is really going on inside. It’s taken me […]
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